Image Courtesy of Xose Castro
Successful people often say that it was their drive to keep going, despite the desire to quit, that drove them to successful heights in their business or careers. That sentiment perfectly sums up the “I can” attitude.
In other words, even though the odds may be against you, keeping a positive mindset can give you the mental push and energy you need to stick to your plan and build your life the way you intended.
If you develop a negative “I can’t” attitude, it can pervade nearly every situation you’re in. It can affect your business plans, career track, or even personal family or social situations.
If you keep telling yourself you can’t do things, eventually you’ll believe yourself and you’ll lose the desire to even try.
Have you ever wanted to attend an event or party, but chose not to go because you didn’t know anyone? Was there ever an incredible opportunity to explore your passion, but you refused out of fear?
In these situations, you need to face your fears, attack that negative attitude, and say “I can” – especially if there are distinct benefits that could help your business or personal life.
Instead of getting discouraged by setbacks or failure, think about your abilities and strengths, then push ahead!
Understanding What “I Can’t” Really Means
When someone says, “I can’t”, what they’re really saying is “I’m afraid to fail, so I won’t try.”
If there’s a breath in your body and a potential success that awaits you, why wouldn’t you want to try? If there’s a way to improve your life, career, or business, why wouldn’t you want to take that risk?
The answer is exactly that… trying new things involves a certain amount of risk and not all of us are risk takers. Most new situations don’t involve a life-threatening risk, but the simple fact of not knowing the outcome can paralyze people with fear.
Unfortunately, fear prevents you from trying anything new and it’s often difficult to break this catch-22 cycle.
“I can’t” are the words that come out of someone’s mouth when they’re crowded by the doubters, plagued by low self-esteem, and they’ve stopped believing in their goals and aspirations.
A strong support system comprised of friends and family members who believe in your goals can help to change your mindset and reignite your passion. If you don’t feel like you have a support system, you can look for support online in social media groups and communities.
“I can’t” is a way of denying yourself success because you’re uncertain that you’ll be able to achieve your goal and you’re afraid to disappoint. But in the end, the only one you’ll disappoint is yourself if you don’t at least make an attempt.
Strong leaders don’t have this attitude – or if they do encounter it, they know the steps needed to combat these negative thoughts so they can continue with their plans.
Sure, it’s human nature to doubt your ability or expertise, especially when faced with something brand new. The difference, however, is what you do to combat this self-doubt.
Those with a “go getter” attitude know how to turn their negative thoughts into positive actions. Rather than dismissing themselves from contention, they welcome the challenge to learn something new.
Here are some steps you can take to combat self-doubt and become action-oriented:
1. Don’t take criticism or mistakes personally. No one is perfect. Learn from your experiences and prepare yourself for the next time.
2. Find ways to improve your skills. Take continuing education classes, e- courses, or read books to gain confidence in those skills you feel need improvement.
3. Think about past successes. Success is sweet and words of praise can do wonders for your self-esteem. Think about the times when you were successful and find ways to regain that feeling.
4. Think about the problem or task logically and break it into pieces. This can be overwhelming, so tackle smaller goals one at a time to avoid confusion and added stress.
5. Delegate what you can to other qualified experts. Use the resources around you to help complete the job rather than tackling everything yourself.
The next time you’re faced with the chance to try something new, take a deep breath, think about the benefits you could experience from this, and say “I can”!
Cheers~
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on Oct 2nd, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Woo! What an inspiring post!!!
on Oct 3rd, 2009 at 4:17 am
Hi Dani,
Thanks so much for the comment.
Cheers~
Mark
on Oct 4th, 2009 at 4:23 am
Hi Mark,
Fear is such a huge stumbling block for all of us. I used to take criticisms personally. Then I realized that no one is perfect and “mistakes” are only mistakes if we do not learn from them. So with time, I learned to put my ego to the side and listen to what I am being told. Then I see if there is any merit to the suggestion and work with it.
As the saying goes, “Rome was not built in a day” and neither is success.
Great to have you back. I missed your posts!
on Oct 4th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Hi Nadia,
Thanks so much for your support. It really makes all the difference in the world. I think genuine support and encouragement are what keep us bloggers going.
I think you’re not alone when it comes to handling criticisms. I used to hate them and get really upset over them. But I’ve learnt to use them to help me see my own blind spots. But of course, I embrace only constructive criticisms and not criticisms with the intention of putting me down. I’m glad that you’ve also learnt to embrace them to help you become a better person.
Cheers~
Mark
on Oct 5th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Hi Mark
I often think that ‘I can’t’ actually means ‘I choose not to’ except we skip the choice part because we don’t want to take responsibility. Whenever I catch myself say ‘I can’t’ I rephrase it as ‘I choose not to .. ‘ and that is much more powerful.
on Oct 6th, 2009 at 3:42 am
Hi Ian,
That’s a great way to turn something disempowering into something empowering. It’s always great to learn something new and helpful. Thanks so much for sharing this, Ian!
Cheers~
Mark